


Alien Viruses Are a Pain In the Butt

by SuperRedRobin (SweetFanfics)



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Young Avengers
Genre: Alien Virus, Fever, Illnesses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-24
Updated: 2012-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-04 06:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/390781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/SuperRedRobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He manages to make it to the bed where Teddy is lying with a thermometer in his mouth. He’s literally a pale green shade and it might be Billy imagination but he looks paler than when he last checked in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alien Viruses Are a Pain In the Butt

**Author's Note:**

> So buttastic mentioned [this fanfic idea](http://buttastic.tumblr.com/post/17658990481/i-just-really-want-a-billy-teddy-fic-where-our) and I was tempted to write it but then she went and [ a fanart](http://buttastic.tumblr.com/post/17665526759/upon-further-reflection-taking-someonesmade) of that…AND WE ALL KNOW I CAN’T RESIST THAT.

Billy quietly sneaks into the room, avoiding all items that look like they would make a noise upon contact. It’s a hard dance to do while balancing a bowl full of homemade chicken and vegetable soup in your hands but Billy manages. And he only spills the tiniest bit on the carpet. He’s sure that if he adjusts the rug placement a bit, no one would be able to spot the stain.  
  


But he manages to make it to the bed where Teddy is lying with a thermometer in his mouth. He’s literally a pale green shade and it might be Billy imagination but he looks paler than when he last checked in. Which was barely 3 minutes ago but…He balances the soup in one hand and reaches for the thermostat and squints to get a reading.  
  


Then blinks in confusion before bringing the glass tube closer to his eyes. It’s 5 degree’s lower than the average human temperature and now Billy just feels like an idiot for even thinking to check Teddy for a fever.  
  


“Billy?”, Billy looks down at the hoarse croak and finds Teddy staring up at him with a totally dazed expression. “Izzat you?”  
  


“Yeah, it’s me Teddy.” He replies in what he hopes is a soothing voice. “You feelin up to having something to eat? I got you some soup. Eli’s grandma made it just for you.” He looks down at the bowl. And he forgot to bring a spoon.  
  


Hes ready to facepalm at his idiocy when Teddy suddenly grabs his hand. Billy starts, sloshing more of the thick soup onto the carpet. He can’t even curse because Teddy’s suddenly babbling away as he’s grabbing at him, trying to pull him closer.  
  


“Teddy…Teddy! Calm down! Ah crap!” Billy hisses as some of the soup sloshes over his hand and he quickly magicks it to the floor before yipping in surprise when Teddy tugs him down. He’s scrambling for some air as Teddy’s crushing him, going on about never wanting to leave Billy, there was so much that he had wanted to do, that the life beyond wasn’t going to be the same without his crazy wiccan by his side (he was so going to get revenge for that crack) and then he went on a weird tangent and started talking about needing a towel.  
  


“Why the fuck do you need a towel?” Billy wheezes out. _‘Oh crap I think I just cracked a rib.’_  
  


 _“_ Cuz you don’t travel anywhere without a towel. Arthur said that remember. I don’t wanna go to the great restaurant at the edge of the universe and not have a towel! They’d turn me away at the computer and tell me to find another time stream to live in.”  
  


Billy stares in confusion at his obviously delusional boyfriend for a long minute, “Ooookay. I’ll find you a towel then.”  
  


“And it’s gotta be red. Just like your cape. Or like skittles. Y’ think they’d let me ride a skittles rainbow over to another galaxy?” Teddy gives him the most hopeful look ever. It puts begging puppies and kittens to shame actually. So Billy stands no chance against it as he pats Teddy’s shoulder, “On a unicorn if you want.”  
  


This seems to satisfy Teddy and he cuddles Billy like a giant teddy bear and seems to go to sleep. But Billy can’t go to sleep because he’s still wired from worrying a bout Teddy who still hasn’t gotten better. And more importantly, there’s a trail of snot dripping from Teddy’s nose that is getting dangerously close to hair.  
  


He’s still wriggling in Teddy’s impossibly tight grip (Stupid alien super strength as he keeps grumbling to himself) when the door opens and Kate peeks in. And rolls her eyes in exasperation. Billy can’t see it but he knows that she did it. Because the eye roll is always accompanied by a certain sigh and he heard that sigh loud and clear. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? _Again_?”  
  


He gives Kate the most pitiful look he can manage, “He grabbed me again! I can’t help it!”  
  


“What part of stay out of his reach was hard to remember Billy?” She hisses back as he saves his hair. He’s tempted to mock swoon at her in thanks but she probably wouldn’t find that funny right now. Because she’s more razzled than he was because she’d be taking care of Teddy more than he had.  
  


His mother had wanted him to be a doctor at one point. But today was only more proof that taking care of the ill was not in his fate. Messing up on how to take care of ill patients however…seemed to be his forte.  
  


After they had come back from their mission in space, Teddy had come down with a cold and fever faster than Billy could sing “Doe a deer, a female deer”. And had then tried his best to take care of Teddy on his own because his parents were out of town on some work related business with his little brothers in tow. Instead he had wound up soaked to the bone trying to get Teddy into a cold bath, all kinds of medicines scattered around him as he panicked while searching the medicine cabinet _and_ almost melting down a pot trying to warm up a can of Campbell soup.  
  


Calling Kate had been the only option at that point. And that had been almost two days ago and Teddy still looked (and clearly felt), like crap. Kate kept shooing Billy away from her, saying that his nervous energy made her feel more anxious and keyed up than necessary. Frankly, she made him feel like a five year old again and he thought to himself that Kate would be awesome mom. Scary as hell but still awesome.  
  


She in turn had called Eli for help and between the pair, they had managed to get Teddy settled into bed within fifteen minutes. Which made Billy want to cry because he had tried for two _hours_ but he couldn’t manage. Although Teddy _had_ pinned him to the sofa crying something about the Great Lake of the Sky and how every soul was actually a mermaid…his delusional rantings were really very strange.  
  


Billy guiltily thinks that maybe he should have stayed out from underneath Kate and Eli’s toes. Because he didn’t help matters by making another pot melt and a third cup of soup explode…and turned the bathwater boiling hot and shrunk all of Teddy’s clothes…they weren’t pleased with Billy’s explanation that when his emotions were out on a whack, his magick went funky as well. But they were understanding none the less.  
  


Eli poked his head into the room as well, “Did you give him the soup yet?”  
  


Billy shook his head, “I forgot to bring a spoon up.”  
  


The exasperated sound Eli lets out makes Billy flush and he gives Kate a small helpless shrug. She’s just looking up at the ceiling with an exasperated look, shaking her head slightly, “I’ll go get you a spoon. You just sit tight. And out of his reach got it?”  
  


“Got it…” Billy turns to Eli as he walks in, “Any word from Kl’rt on what’s wrong with him?”  
  


“He said that the virus should be flushed out of his system in 48 some hours. It’s some weird thing and he went on about something green and…”Eli shakes his head as though the whole thing was far too disgusting for him to talk about. “The good news is that Teddy’s gonna be fine by tonight. Tomorrow at latest.”  
  


The sigh Billy lets out makes his shoulders slump in relief. “That’s good news. Thank God.”  
  


A sniffle from the bed draws their attention. Teddy’s rubbing his nose, making a face as he keeps sniffling. “You okay Tee?” Billy asks with concept, moving closer to the green boy.  
  


“J’s feel a sneeze stuck.” Teddy replies hoarsely, nose wriggling as he tries to sooth the itchy feeling.  
  


“A sneeze?”  
  


Teddy suddenly taking in a deep breath.  
  


“Aaaah…”  
  


 _‘Oh, here it comes.’_ Billy quickly looks around him for a tissue paper, as does Eli. Eli dives for the white box sitting on the table and tosses it at Billy.  
  


“Aaaah!”  
  


The dark haired boy catches the box and pulls two tissues out and holds them towards Teddy.  
  


“AAH-CHOO!”  
  


And he finds himself covered in the most _disgusting_ green goop _ever_. Adding insult to injury is the fact that it _smells._ He’s thankful for the small favor that at least his mouth had been closed but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s _dripping_ with alien _snot_ and Eli’s _laughing_ at him. Oh this day couldn’t get any worse.  
  


‘Challenge accepted’, God said as Kate walked into the room and screamed, slamming the door shut again. Which woke Teddy up. And the first thing _his_ eyes landed on was a slimy Billy and he yelled, “SLIME MONSTER!” and scrambled back on his bed. Which just made Eli laugh harder.  
  


With the last bit of dignity that he had, Billy stood up. Trying not to let out the ‘ew ew ew ew ew’ mantra running in his head to come out from his lips. Because then he might _taste_ the snot. Which was thickening and becoming smellier. Moaning at the injustice of it all, Billy shuffled forward. And bumped into God knew what and fell face down on the floor. But his humiliation was not complete because _somehow_ the soup bowl flipped and wound up on his head like a porcelain hat. Along with the soup.  
  


“emmm…?” he heard Teddy meekly asking from the bed, “What the hell happened? And why is there a slime monster in my bedroom? Eli?”  
  


Billy Kaplan really _really_ hated colds and fevers.


End file.
